Fantasizing about me?

We all have them. And they're hot. You know what I'm talking. Same Sex Fantasies.

Just because you fantasize about someone of the same sex doesn't mean your gay or lesbian (I mean it could.... but thats not a fo sho case) Having a naughty dream about some hot celebrity (or even about your BFF like S&M do) is a perfectly normal thing. And we think you should do it all the time!

I enjoy a good lesbian fantasy every now and then. I even enjoy a good lesbian night every now and then. But that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian for all time! I just love making out and the human body, whether that be  a man's or a woman's. And you should feel the same. Be open with having those hot erotic dreams and fantasies, no matter who they're about!

There is nothing wrong with experimentation. Whether it be in your dreams or in real life. Just be secure in who you are and know for sure whether you like the stick or the hole (penis or vagina if your slow....)

Guys have a problem with this because they're so afraid that if they think about another man and his unmentionables (geez im just gonna come out and say it. PENIS) that they're automatically gay. But hey you have one too so why not play with someone elses in your dreams. As long as its not all you think about we really don't see anything wrong with it. Go ahead and have your little day dreams. Just think about me 99% of the time and him 1%. (And you better not call me Steve in bed)

My mom put it best one time saying,"M, you are not a slut. Your just a drunk Lesbian. And nothing is wrong with that."

The bottom line is to not freak out if you have a little lesbian fantasy or even a little gay one. As long as you know what you want in the long run there is nothing wrong with letting your mind wander.

Forever GolDAMN
S&M

Half the fun is talking about it

S&M are very open about everything. Especially when it comes to sex. But we're virgins, so don't get the wrong idea.


Whether your with someone or out and about on your own, talking about sex and everything that goes along with it should be something you enjoy. Talk about it with your girlfriends, with your guy friends, with your roommates. It doesn't matter who! Just be open about it. Crack open a bottle of wine (or a fifth for all I care) and share some stories with your friends. It'll be fun I promise. There is no reason to be shy about it! Everyone loves to do it, so what's wrong with talking about something we all love?

Yes yes some people consider sex to be a very private thing, and thats perfectly fine, but you should always have at least one person in your life you can be completely open with. Not only does it make your relationship with that person more intimate, but it's also fun! Talking about sex and the experiences you've had is a natural thing. We all do it (well we don't.... but you do you big sluts) so we should be open about it.
Sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences is fun. S&M love sharing stories, whether they be funny, kinky, sexy or embarrassing it's a way to express yourself. Don't worry you don't have to tell the raunchy details cause we don't want to hear about that (S does, seriously, she does).

If you're feeling real adventurous you can go out and visit a sex store with your friends. This recently occurred with some of S&M's friends A&J (hot bitches FYI) and it was quite and experience. Not only can you see extremely scary things (did you know they have penises there the size of a bodybuilders thigh?) but you can laugh about the crazy things that some people do together. Maybe even pick up a few items along the way? Surprising your other half can be super fun!

SO BITCHES. Get out there and start talking about it. Maybe you'll learn some new things or some new tricks. (Let's hope, cause you're all boring the shit out of me)

LOVE
S&M

Valentine's Day?

Sorry Bitches. M is a dumb shit and accidently moved this and doesn't know how to move it back. Ha. You know you love me

Yup it's right around the corner. The most dreaded holiday of the year, Valentine's Day. Fuck! Shit! UGh! Might be the first thing that pop's into your head when you hear people mention V-Day. Well it's going to happen so you might as well make the best of it. So what's the right way to go about celebrating this day?
Well S and M of course will be each other's valentines.  DUH! A) we are both fucking hot. B) BFFS HELLLOOO. C) We are totally in love with each other. So we realize most of you can't keep up and might fall short of our amazing day together. Well don't worry we will sympathize with you, and give you some fucking awesome ways to celebrate this day!
        Let's Start at Square One: If you don't have a mate.
       You might think you have it the worse of any other situation. But being alone on valentine's day can actually be a lot of fun! ( not that S and M would know, because guys are always coming after us). Anyways, first off it's a great excuse to go buy a vibrator and have some fun with your self. Okay I know what you thinking. Scary!!! But seriously you need to enjoy all of yourself on this day, and I mean ALL of your self. Do it, you won't regret it. No one deserves not to get some on this day, even if it's from yourself! Now that you have got your pleasure covered, think of three things that you LOVE to do. Hello,this day is about love! Make a spa appointment, go on a hike, pick out your favorite movie, get/make your favorite food. This day is about you, you independent Biotch! Don't you dare sit on your couch and mope eating ice cream and watching He's Just Not That Into You, The Notebook, or whatever lame as fuck movie you can think of to make yourself feel like shit.; thinking your pathetic for being alone. Your Great, you are freakin HOT, and Don't need a man! Make this a day about yourself. Be a Selfish Slut!
   Now let's just say you've been hooking up with a guy for a while, and there is a possibility for him to ask you to be his so-called "Valentine".
      Okay a couple  of things you should know, is that guys don't like to be alone just as much as girls. However, he might be a huge douche bag, and be hooking up with another girl at the same time as you( or something along those lines). In this cause He really is a flaming douche bag, and obviously not worth your time, and you should probably refer to the previous paragraph. If this isn't the case, still don't expect anything. This day already carries so many expectations, and it will only make it worse if you think he's going to send you flowers or take you out on a date or other cliche valentine's day activities such as these. Take everything with a grain of salt this day, and don't be a bitch towards him if he doesn't do anything for you. Relationships aren't about doing things for each other, and that's a terrible way to start out. Instead, act like it doesn't bother you (because it shouldn't!). And if he doesn't ask you have a back up boy. Duh! And I know you have one, we all have one. And if he does ask you out on a date or whatevers.. "Good for you, You Stupid BITCH"!
Finally, the more serious of the three. This is the case that probably has it the worse. Like I said previously, there are so many expectations on this day. Being in a relationship makes these expectations even worse. But chill! Your guy isn't dumb, even though sometimes you might think so. He's going to try to please you in the best ways he can and knows how on this day. Just be grateful you get to spend the day with him and get to have a valentine. Some girls would kill for one on this day.
So Get some on this day you Whores!


XOXO
Stay GolDAMN
S & M

So You Wanna Be an Actor Huh?

Dressing up shouldn't just be for halloween. The bedroom is a great place for being a sexy cop, a playful bunny, or a hot nurse. Guys think more than you think. Meaning you have to keep them entertained you fucking biotches. Since, S and M are the fantasies of every guys imagination, we are going to help level the playing field to you other hot sluts.
First off, you have to know what your guy is interested in. For example, if he is into sports dress up as a cheerleader, and help make him score. Or if he's not into school, dress up as a school teacher and teach him a lesson in detention. Or if your guy loves the stars dress up as Princess Leia, and play with his lightsaber. There are so many roles you can play when fulfilling your man's dirty mind.
Second, you have to be playful in role playing. Confidence and Sexy flirtation is a must( for pointers about these qualities see our "Art of a Strip Tease" blog). Get super into the role. This will spice up the sexual tension, and leave room for an ultimate gasm. Trust me ladies if you walked into your guys bedroom dressed up as a french maid he's bound to oil spill in his pants.
Thirdly, if your still kind of confused you should probably go watch some porn. And I don't mean soft porn. Watch some dirty, kinky fucking porn. Hellooooo, your man obviously watches porn, and if you don't think so your fucking dumb. So he's seen the Heather Brooke moves and Jenna Jameson scenes, meaning you can get as freaky as you like. If he watches it, he's gotta like it. So get freaky bitches!!
Role playing can spice up your sex life, which, let's face it, is the backbone to any relationship. Bad sex=BYE BYE whereas amazing sex=more amazing sex! Ladies you have the power to make your relationship fucking hot!

WALK OF SHAME or WALK OF FAME

Wanna know the only test that will truly tell you if you're a slut or not? Here it is
     In your entire life how many walks of shame have you had to do? More than 1? SLUT

But Seriously, the walk of shame is inevitable. 99% of college girls have done it and that 1% that hasn't is only because they only hook up with Freshman boys so obviously they stay at their crib with the little boys rather than drunkenly making their way out to the dorms.

The only reason the walk of shame sucks is because you have to trek back to your place carrying your heels either sporting an oversized sweatshirt over your ho dress or some giant ass basketball shorts and your cleavage bearing top. The outfit is a big ole no no in real life, but that dreaded morning after its about the best you can do. While yes, your feet do hurt, your makeup is smeared down your face, and you have morning after hair, don't focus on that. Focus on the GolDAMN!

S&M think you should stop being such pussys about the walk of shame. We've never done it because we don't drink or party or go home with boys like all you sluts, but you need to own up to it. The walk of shame means that you were looking so fucking good the night before that you got some. YOU GOT SOME. YOU ARE A HOT PEICE OF ASS. So stop dreading that walk of shame, call it the walk of fame and be proud that you did it and made it through (unless you have a make it past Planned Parenthood in the morning and than your a Dumb Ass).

Enjoy your college and non-thinking days while you can. Soon enough you're gonna be stuck with one guy who farts in his sleep, is balding and has a beer belly and wish that you could grab your heels and high-tail it out of there. (We wont, S&M will never settle for anything like that. but you probably will.)

LOVE
S&M

OMFG I think I hooked up with that guy

Being a slut has its cost. M and I wouldn't really know about that, but we do know that there is a price to pay for being a whore. Well apart from  Herpes or having the Clap, there are those awkward run in days, months, and sometimes years after you've hooked up with someone. There are somethings you can do though to make these encounters a little less dramatic. So, Don't worry Hoe's, S and M have got the remedy!
Your amazing and Hot, and this is what you have to remember at all times. Meaning that if you run into him tell them how fuckin' fantastic you are doing. Even if it's a lie. Try to be as least awkward as you can. Situations are only as bad as you make them. Unless this guy looks like sasquatch or has a dick like a muskrat, take a chill pill ( if they really do, then RUN BITCH RUN). As long as you make it seem like your doing better off than he is, which you honestly probably are, you'll be in clear water.

Let's just say that the guy you run into was the worst hook up of your life. First off, stop being such a drunk slut and choose your men more wisely. Second, the best thing to do is avoid him at all possible cost. Chances are he probably thought you were just as bad as he was. So save yourself the embarrassment, and flee the sight of the spotting asap.

Seeing these men or boys can be like seeing a tiger walking down the street. It is shocking! But remember stay calm and stake out your plan of action. Whether you thought he was awesome between the sheets or you fell asleep 30 seconds in because he bored you to death, you're going to survive these awkward run ins. Just realize that they are inevitable. If you could drunkenly find each other one night then chances are you're probably going to see each other sober, so either learn to deal or keep those legs closed.

Love you Sluts
GolDAMN
S & M

Welcome to Canada...AYE!

Ohhhh yes S&M are heading out for college weekend to good ole whistler. We're excited to get "drunk as shit" with our friends up north and the bitches we brought along. If you see us out buy us a shot or two... Or three.... Or four... ;) Ya never know if you'll get lucky. Just try and behave yourselves (although we don't promise to...) and let's all have the time of our lives this weekend. No matter where the fuck you are


Love
S&M